Messy Break-up

Get excited, it's time for another update. Hold onto your socks, because this might be a good one! Per usual, however, I'll apologize for the blog delay (though it's only been 2 weeks), and talk a bit about current events.

Unless you live under a rock (hey - some people do!), you're well aware of last night's big announcement...Osama Bin Ladin, the man responsible for thousands of innocent deaths and years of heartache, has been killed. This blog isn't generally devoted to current events and the like, but I felt it necessary to mention today because I'd like to share some great resources with you. Benjamin posted a blog with his reflections on the news, and he included a few links to some really interesting posts (reactions from world leaders, expressive photos, etc). Check 'em out if you have a few minutes.

And while we're on the subject of current events, yes I woke up to watch the Royal Wedding on Friday morning. However, I only watched 5 minutes of it (Kate's walk from the car to the alter) before turning off the TV and going back to sleep. Honest to goodness - that was enough for me.

Now, onto the good stuff...

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As you may have been wondering, it's about time for an update on that not-so-little thing called my thesis. I'm pretty sure the last time I wrote about "the feces" was way back in January(?!?!?), when graduation and defense day still seemed to be far off into the distance of the grad school tunnel. Well, February, March, and April came and went, and here I sit on May 2nd...11 days from graduation...composing a blog summarizing a season of my life which has surely shortened my total lifespan by at least 5 years.

Maybe you noticed that my blogging habit slacked off - er, became nonexistent - following my post on February 20th. (Then again, maybe you didn't. Shrug.) For those of you who have any regular contact with me, or perhaps possess extravagant stalking skills, you already know...life as I knew it, changed on February 21. Again, I say that with a slight intention of dramatic effect, but at the absolute core of my being, I believe that statement is true. You'll see why in just a second.

On February 16, two weeks before defense day, I sent my thesis to committee for review. That weekend, I received a simple question via e-mail from one of my committee members, but was instructed to double check the answer with our Department Head before sending my response. On Monday, February 21, I went into our Dept. Chair's office, with the assumption that he'd quickly and simply validate my answer, when instead, his response caused my world to fall apart.

In that moment, I was told that every bit of data analysis I'd spent the last three months doing, was wrong. He said I hadn't used the right statistical tests for the type of data I collected or for the type of questions I wanted to answer. He said I had to do not one, but two, completely different tests, in order for my research to be accurate/worthy/effective/insert any other research descriptor term here.

What did that mean? It meant that I had to run two different statistical tests on all of the data I collected, redesign and reformat all 42 tables in my Chapter 4 (Findings), rewrite my entire text sections of Chapter 4, and revise all of Chapter 5 (Conclusions/Recommendations). Mind you, this all happened 10 days out from defense day...and I was asked to get it done by the end of the week. Excuse me?

Needless to say, I was a complete and utter wreck. For four straight days, I did nothing but recalculate, redesign, rewrite...and cry. I cried like I've never cried before. I didn't leave my apartment, and I'm pretty sure my friends thought I was dead (okay, not really). No e-mails were read, no Facebook comments were posted, no Tweets were chirped. Lauren went into work mode - and didn't come out for a long, long time. (In fact, more than 2 months later, I'm not entirely sure I've recovered yet.)

Seven days later, the work I'd spent three months finishing (December, January,and February) was completely redone. Three days after that, I delivered my public presentation and survived my private defense. It did not come without more challenges, however.

In the private defense, my committee realized that the newest version of Chapters 4 and 5 was no more correct/accurate/you-know-the-drill, than the first one. In fact, the first one was much closer to the "right" one than the version I created in the span of just one week. Say what now? You got it - all of the time, energy, blood, sweat, and tears that were put into the previous week's revisions - was wrong.

After much consultation among the committee members and several other faculty (including a statistician), they finally came to a consensus on what I'd be instructed to do...oh, about two weeks later. Yeah, you got that, it took two weeks AFTER my defense, for my committee to figure out what they wanted me to do with my data. Talk about a mess.

As it turned out, I was instructed to keep my data set from the original statistical tests, and add one more test to the mix. I ended up having to add a third test to expand some of my findings just a bit. In the end, I was pronounced Queen of Thesis Tables as my 42 tables became 48, and I officially became the author of the longest thesis in my cohort - with a grand total of a 145 pages to show for it all. Crazy? Well the "fun" wasn't over yet...

Sometime early in the week of March 28 (almost 4 weeks after my defense), I made my first submission to the graduate school. It was returned with notes regarding formatting errors a few days later, and therein began my uphill battle with the graduate school. Having enough of navigating all those boulders, I decided to take about two weeks off for National 4-H Conference prep, work, and recovery time, before getting back on the thesis bandwagon.

In true form regarding the depths of thesis hell, revisions I expected to take days, ended up taking weeks. What was supposed to be two submissions (1 trial, 1 error-error free) ended up totaling at least four. Nothing I did, no help I received, no matter how hard and how many times I tried, I just could not get it right. It was incredibly frustrating and downright sucked, especially after the firepit I'd already been through. Finally, I begged and pleaded with the thesis editor to work her magic on my pages. She agreed, and finally (after a few more formatting challenges), my error-free, official file was accepted on April 25!!!!

With the absolute, hands-down, no matter what, final deadline of April 29, it feels like I made it...almost by the skin of my teeth. I have tried hard not to let it all bother me, but how can I not? I scheduled my defense early in the season because I wanted to be done. I wanted the thesis to be completed and out of my life with time for me to enjoy the people and the places around me. I worked my @%% off for 10 dang (insert many explicatives here) months, and never once did I get a break. It still took every ounce of my being, every patient bone in my body (there weren't many to start with), and every bit of my energy to make it out on the other side.

They say graduate school is a different beast, and man are they right. That beast is one I hope to never again meet in my lifetime, and I can't say I'd ever wish it on anyone. However, a close friend reminded me that this experience ultimately taught me that I'm stronger than I think, and I really can accomplish whatever it is I attempt. Way back in the Fall of 2009, I hated Raleigh, and grad school, and NC State with all of my guts, but I stayed. I wanted to give up, but I didn't. And every day, when I laid down to rest, I read the quote hanging on my wall..."Every great accomplishment starts with the decision to try." Bar none - this is my greatest professional accomplishment, and it all started with a commitment to try.

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On Saturday, we had a burn party... A bunch of us thesis rats gathered at Lendy's house to cleanse ourselves of the (literal) baggage we collected along the way. Our biggest supporters joined us as we took the very therapeutic step of burning our research. And by burning our research, we mean, burning our research. We burned. By stacks, and stacks, and stacksss, we burned. We burned our full theses, the graduate school guidelines, revision notes from professors, IRB approval letters, research instruments, letters of consent, data, actual questionnaires...the list goes on. We burned anything and everything related to our thesis - an act of true and necessary cleansing.

And because they deserved a part in the cleanse - our significant others ("sig-ofs" for L.O. - ha!) joined in on the honors. They burned with us and for us, and held our hands as we shed the layers of grad school dust that was so heavily built up on the ones that they love. For, every layer tossed into the fire pit, was one layer closer to rediscovering the people we really are. It was a moving, incredible, and necessary experience.

Today, I write this as a continuation of the cleanse. I feel as though it's important for me to write through the process and the emotions that have plagued my life for the past few months. I write such detail here, not to bore you to death, but to help you understand just a little bit better, the experience I had with my (pile of) "feces." Like the burn party, this blog is another step in the process of healing. For those of you who might be interested or haven't yet seen it, the actual manuscript is up for public access here. Finally, the end is near...I can almost touch it!

And now...Thesis, WE ARE BROKEN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The end.
-Lauren

Swamp Survivors

I know, I know... so much for that commitment to writing two posts per month. Seriously though, my last post was written on February 20th, and on February 21st, life as I knew it became a thing of the past. While a tiny portion of that statement may have been intended for dramatic effect, there really have been lots of events and life changes since my last post. To date, I have about five blog titles waiting to be hashed out for all of you diligent readers out there (ha).

Given recent events, I do want to take a moment to let everyone know that I am, in fact, alive and well. That statement is all encompassing, but it is also specifically intended as a response to the major tornadoes that tore through Raleigh yesterday. I was actually at Lendy's in Wake Forest at the time, so we saw most of the storm as it drove through Raleigh, before losing power as it came closer to us. Everyone I know in the area (including us) spent some time huddled in a closet or bathroom hoping to be spared from the storm. We were without power for several hours yesterday, but for the brief time we were finally able to view video footage late last night, we were amazed at the devastation that surrounded us. I knew it must have been bad for me to receive texts and calls from friends all across the country, wondering if I was okay, but I had no idea how bad it was until this morning even. Let it be known that my friends are a-okay, but we're also keenly aware of how just close of a call this was for us.

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And now onto the real story I've come to share today...

Following my thesis defense on March 2nd (more about that in an upcoming post), I flew home to Louisiana on March 3rd and stayed through the 13th. Despite close calls along the travel experience, I was armed with my "bff Jill" and lots of reasons to celebrate for a week in my beloved Cajunland. Below are the "nitty gritty" details of our trip. :)

March 3: Traveling on two separate itineraries, through two separate layover locations, Lendy and I set out for a memorable (in more ways than one) adventure in Louisiana. In Raleigh, we tried to merge our itineraries, but to no avail; it wasn't until I nearly had a heart attack after being informed that all planes into Louisiana (all cities) were overbooked, and as a result, I'd be stuck in Atlanta for the next three days. Thank Heavens there are good people out there, and some nice man gave up his seat for me (all the while risking a two-day delay for himself in the process). In the end, Lendy and I made it to Lafayette within an hour of each other, as planned. That night, we had dinner with my parents at the Riverfront restaurant in Abbeville, and later surprised my Nanna (she had no idea I was coming!) for her birthday.

March 4: Per Lendy's request, we spent Friday out in the marsh doing real-life Cajuny things. My daddy and his friend took us out in the boat to fish and crab. We had some funny mishaps and lots of enjoyable experiences as we set trout (catfish)lines and learned to "run" the crab cages. That night, we had a crab boil, and Lendy learned how to peel boiled crabs for the first time! It was a good day.

March 5: When storms dampered our plans to travel to New Orleans for a night of Mardi Gras parades, we decided to have a lazy day of watching The Nanny from the living on the living room couch. My Nanna made a huge spread of Cajun food and invited my family and my cousins over for dinner that night. It was a two-for-one birthday celebration, and just another opportunity for us to "wine and dine" Mrs. Johnson (with her Cajun boyfriend).

March 6: Sunday, the weather lightened up and we were finally able to make it out for an evening of Mardi Gras celebrations in the Big Easy. We were eternally grateful to my college roommate, Jen and her husband, Logan, for taking us in as houseguests and serving as tour guides for the adventure. And my, was it an adventure...Sparing the details, I'll say that my first (and perhaps) last experience at Mardi Gras in New Orleans was even crazier than I expected. The word intense doesn't do it justice. Either way, we caught lots of beads, and (I think) a good time was had by all. To celebrate surviving the chaos, we ended the night with delicious beignets and hot chocolate at a cafe in Metarie. YuM.

March 7: On our way back home, we made a side stop in Thibodaux so that I could show Lendy my beloved Nicholls and the town where I spent 3 (wonderful) years of my life. We had lunch at Cane's (the LA version of Zaxby's), explored Nicholls' campus for a bit. We even took a few minutes to play at Pullen Park. That night, my daddy brought home crawfish, and Lendy experienced another first - peeling boiled crawfish.

March 8: Mardi Gras! Lendy's last day in Louisiana culminated with a parade on Mardi Gras Day in Lafayette. We witnessed some authentic Cajun celebrations, and saw some crazy stuff while we were at it. In the end, I think Lendy had a great time (I know I did), but the fun had to come to an end, because there were people waiting patiently to have her home again.

March 9-13: Benjamin, Lindsey, and I hosted our second web training for the group of Collegiate Facilitators who were selected for this year's National 4-H Conference. I relaxed, did *some* schoolwork, and spent lots of time with my family. I also really enjoyed the opportunity to visit my godchild and his triplet sisters. On Saturday, my mom and I got pedicures together before having a nice dinner at Chili's with my parents and grandparents. I was so grateful for the opportunity to spend time at home for my birthday (two years in a row). Sunday morning, I was up and at 'em for an early morning flight back to North Carolina, where someone really special was waiting to retrieve me (more about that in an upcoming post, as well).

All in all, it was a fabulous Spring Break/Mardi Gras/Birthday, and I definitely wouldn't trade it for the world! I do apologize for the lenghty post, but I told you...there's lots of catching up to do. Hopefully, I'll be able to add another chapter to the saga someday soon. (Pestering the author is extremely encouraged!) For now though...

Tata.
-Lauren

Job Fever

It's the last day of January, and we all know what that means...blog-time! Feeling a little drowsy today, but wanting to be productive nonetheless, I thought, "Hey, today would be a good day for a blog!" Only then did I realize it's the last day of the month, which means I need to get on it if I want to keep my commitment to blogging twice a month.

Thankfully, I had an idea of what to write in this entry (several, actually), so that part wasn't too hard. Interestingly, I have ideas for two more blogs brewing in this little brain of mine, so you may be plesantly surprised over the next few weeks. However, don't expect too much, as we all know how those things go.

As usual, first comes the thesis (or "feces") update. I'm having a tough time getting back into the swing of all things school related. The minimum is done, but while I was once ahead of the pack on thesising, I'm falling farther behind daily. I really should finalize revisions and get on that formatting stuff, but ughh, there are just so many more interesting things to do with my time. Only 4 weeks til D-Day (defense)! ahhh.

And because these days I can't blog without including one of those fun comics, here's this entry's addition:



This particular comic is appropriate because I spent the first week of school performing daily revisions on a paper that was submitted for a research conference in Idaho this May. No word yet on whether it'll be accepted, but honestly, I'm perfectly okay if it doesn't get in. I'd really prefer to keep my post-graduation calendar as open as possible, and attending a research conference the week after isn't exactly in my list of highlights.

And after all that, I can finally get onto the "main course," if you will. As I'm sure you could gather from the title, this entry is all about the mooolahhhhh. Well, sort of. What I mean is that job fever is working itself through our office like the plague.

I'm not sure where it started, and I may have mentioned that several job "leads" were out for my friends and classmates in previous entries, but goodness the jobs have exploded! In the last month, there have been at least 8 job interviews among four of us, collectively. Two of the J's have received jobs in Extension, one as a 4-H Agent and one as a Livestock/Row Crops Agent. While it may not have been a heavenly set-up for either of them, I think they will both find happiness in their new endeavors, both short and long term. ;-)

The third J (Yes, we're surrounded by J's in NC too...reminds me of the Idaho J boys, haha!) received wonderful news today; she was offered a position as teacher a biotechnology teacher at a middle school about 45 minutes from Raleigh! Slated to start her student teaching practicum sometime this week, this last minute news is great, since this offer will be a permanent position, instead. Everyone's dreams are falling together, and it's so sweet to think back to when we all started out just a year and a half ago... Congratulations, yay!

In the midst of all this job-ness, I started to feel left out. So, uh, I *gasp* decided to apply for a job, too. WHAT, you say? Yeah, I know. What happened to not wanting a job 'til August? Well, I don't, really...but...like I said, I felt left out!

The dish, you want? In an effort to avoid thesising (story of my life, right?) I spent a Friday evening surfing the websites of hospitals in four states, scoping out openings for Child Life positions. In the process, I came across an opening in Greenville, South Carolina. After researching the program, and the hospital's website, I kept coming back to that program. So, on a whim, I threw together the application, without thinking too much, and before I could convince myself not to do it, I submitted the darn thing. This was around 8 p.m. on a Friday night, and by Monday morning (before 9 a.m.), I had an e-mail requesting a phone interview for the following afternoon. Whoaaa, talk about fast moving...especially for something I did on a whim! (Those of you who know me, realize this is sooo not a "Lauren thing" to do!)

In any case, the interview went okay. I feel like I represented myself fairly, and to the best that I could given my background and experiences. However, I think they may be hoping for someone with more experience, or just something other than what I have to offer. I've been watching the status of my application online, but I haven't seen anything of interest there yet. I'll be sure to share if I hear anything; either way, I'm content because for now I am still in school, and the future will take care of itself.

Needless to say, these next few months are sure to be interesting. We made a paper chain countdown to graduation in the office, and it's bittersweet to watch the links disappear daily. All in all, I'm really excited about the possibilities and I can't wait to see how everything unfolds.

As always, stay tuned.
-Lauren

PS: The title of this entry reminded me of this song. Enjoy. (And believe it or not, it's not country. Ha.)

Yippie.

The reason I am writing today is because I made a commitment (to myself) to publish a minimum of two entries each month, and today just so happens to be the last day of the month, not to mention the last day of the year. I've been contemplating this entry for a few weeks, but still I have nothing particularly significant to share. Instead, I will revert to my typical ramblings about what's been up over the last few weeks. (Sorry, no witty witty banter to follow.)

The week before I left for home, it snowed in Raleigh!! Granted, there wasn't much to show for it in my neck of the woods, but it sure made my day!! In fact, that week, it didn't get up to 40 degrees until four days later, and even then it was still pretty frigid. Balmy 75 degree temperatures welcomed me home on December 11th, yet it snowed again in Raleigh only a few days later. While temps here in Louisiana have followed the extremes (record breaking lows followed days later by almost 80 degree temperatures), Raleigh lucked out with a near blizzard the day after Christmas which resulted in 7 inches of fluffy white stuff on my sweet little Cajun-yota. B-)

Here goes an update on "the feces," or "thesis baby," whatever the mood mood of choice may happen to be. Thanks to all of you who put in a few requests to the god of survey research, because it sure paid off. I sent out one "last-ditch" effort and received several responses soon thereafter. By the skin of my teeth, I think I managed to grab a 40% response rate.

Since school let out, I spent much of my time working on the thesis. Several comments were made about how I should be enjoying my time or doing something fun, but the reality of it is that being home in Cajun Country, working (like crazy) at my leisure, while sitting on the couch in pajamas all day, yet still having time to watch (cable!) tv and read and visit with family...that IS enjoying my time. No complaints, really.

Thus far, I put together a 29 page draft of my Chapter 4, which I gleefully submitted to my professor on Christmas Eve (Merry Christmas, JB!)! Just as I made it about half-way through the first draft of Chapter 5, I received revisions for #4. (The ball sure is rolling...) I hope to finish Chapter 5 sometime today or at least by Monday, so that I can get moving on revisions to Chapter 4 and put together a draft of my submission for a conference in Idaho this spring. The deadline for that is January 14th, but my chair would like a draft of it by the 7th. So, we all know what Lauren will be doing to celebrate her last week at home, ha.



Never fear, I have done a few things other than work on "the feces." As typical of this season, I've spent a lot of time with family--both my immediate family (parentals and brother), and a bit of the extended bunch, as well. Some of my favorite times this holiday have been spent with the three lovely bundles--better known as the Danenberg triplets!

On two back to back weeks, I was asked to stay a night at the Danenberg home. Of course(!), I happily obliged. Even while doing other chores around the home, there is just something magical about being in the presence of three well-behaved, happy, beautiful, and fun babies! I was also able to observe an evaluation by representatives from the LA Early Steps program, and go along with the babies to their physical therapy session one afternoon. The following week, I went with them on an outing to Baton Rouge to see a pediatric opthamologist. It was the first time I was really able to experience the looks and questions that seem to follow the babies wherever they go. Either way, these babies are still the most well-behaved group of children I have encountered in a long time, and there is something special to be said for each of their unique, developing smiles and personalities. I could just eat 'em up!

Peer socialization has been pretty much non-existant since I've been home. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of online and text interaction with friends from across the country (per usual), but I haven't done anything with friends here. There's always that small glimmer of possibility that things will work out for me to visit with some of my local friends or even the college roommates, but it never quite seems to work. I'm hoping this will change whenever I get really settled into a new life sometime next fall. Plus, by then, I should have access to my car again. (It stayed in NC for this trip.)

As I close out this entry (and the year), I must say I have several things to look forward to in the coming months. We are exactly 3 months away from our due date for the "thesis babies," and I have finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The bulk of the dirty work has been done, so I can't wait to see it all start coming together very soon!! Discussions have begun with one of my travel buddies; we're hoping for a few fabulous adventures dispersed throughout the semester. I plan to be back in Louisiana in just 9 weeks, ready and fully prepared to celebrate the defense of my "feces" along with the birthdays of myself and my grandmother, and even cooler, the lovely Louisiana holiday of Mardi Gras (which also happens to be my favorite holiday, in general).

With that, I wish you all the best. Cheers to another new year...



Yippie.
-Lauren

A Little Bit of Winter Cheer

As the end of the semester draws near, it seems like a good time to give an update on all things thesis-y. Usually, my stories about graduate school involve some type of rant or negativity. However, tonight I'm here to write about some (perhaps rare) positive moments I've experienced recently.

About a week and a half ago, I may or may not have enjoyed a bottle of wine over the successful submission of Chapters 1-3 just a few days before our joyful American holiday of Thanksgiving. While it was a quiet week in the office (as most students scattered home for the holiday), I committed to working as if it were any other week. Although I did not make much progress on my actuall assistantship work, I did make good headway with organizing thesis data and putting together a major project which consisted of an educational program plan (20 pages). When that was done, I started on an essay exam. In other words, I had a productive week despite the holiday.

[It should be noted that I am grateful for a lovely friend of mine who adopted me into her family and welcomed me home for Turkey Day. In the three years I have been away for Thanksgiving, I must admit that I have been very blessed to have warm, hospitable friends who have graciously welcomed me into their family homes on this special day. Next year, however, I am committed to being at home with my own family on this holiday--no matter what.]

Back to positive moments a la graduate school...On Monday after Thanksgiving, my three chapters were returned with MINIMAL revisions! No major overhauls, reorganizations, cuts, or additions. It was a miracle! How I put together a decent lit review (despite aches and pains generally associated with such portions), I will never know. Either way, I'm not complaining. Au contraire, I am rejoicing!

On Tuesday, I sent out a third round of reminders to participants in my study. One participant returned the e-mail with an interesting request. A 4-H program leader in [unnamed] state asked permission to use my instrument (survey) as an internal self-assessment tool for their camping programs. He asked how the instrument was designed and whether it was based on "best practices." For those of you who are unfamiliar with the "research world," a request for someone else to use your instrument is kind of a big deal.

According to my professor, it's rare for doctoral students to design their own instruments, much less master's students. (Many of the Master's students in our dept. design their own instruments, so I never thought much of it.) Someone asking to use your instrument is one of the biggest honors a researcher can receive. Needless to say, I was super giddy and excited about it all. So, if any of you come across a journal article (or research presentation/printed materials) with my name as a reference for the survey instrument, be sure to let me know!

Also this week, several of us in the office reviewed posters for an upcoming professional conference. One of our profesors is in charge of the poster submissions, so she enlisted our help during the reviewal process. While I contributed to a poster proposal for last year's conference, I'd never had the experience of reviewing others' professional work in this capacity. At first, I felt unqualified to do the job, but as I worked through it, it actually turned out okay. Basically, it ended up being a review on all the research methodology and reporting techniques that I've learned over the past year and a half. In a way, it was kind of like reviewing for the final in my advanced research methods course (which is good, considering I'll probably wait 'til the last minute to actually do that, lol). In any case, reviewing posters was a fun experience. :)

As with all things studious, it can't all be roses and chocolate. To date, my response rate rests around 35%, which is not near the 70% my advisor would like, or even the 60% she insists is necessary for publication. I've made about 60 phone calls, probably speaking with a real person in about 1/3 of those calls, hoping...begging...for people to respond to the survey. We're going to reevaluate the situation on Tuesday when my advisor and I meet with our department head to give it a practice go at analayzing the data. For me, it's not a question of whether I'm going to graduate ('cuz you can bet that I will graduate, regardless), but it is a matter of putting together a quality piece that is worth all of this work. Plus, people need this research. It's important, and therefore, I need to do a good job of it. So, if you all could pray to the god of survey research, that would be great. (If you choose to stick with just one god for now, that's okay too. *wink*)

Rather than go on about other academic obligations regarding the remainder of the semester, I'm going to leave you with this:





(I am officially addicted to phdcomics, so expect more "funnies" in the near future!)

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow*!
-Lauren

*It's snowed here in Raleigh yesterday!

Haphazard Celabratory Wino

I want to write. Seriously? Yes, seriously. Despite the fact that I spend every "free" moment of my life these days writing, I still desire to put the pen to the paper--or fingers to the keys--if you will. However, I don't feel like I've got anything substantial or organized to write about, so I'm going to ramble as I happily sip on a delightful glass of wine...

Love is in the Air
It's been over a month now since Victoria and Seth's wedding, so maybe I should start there. Now we all know that weddings and general are beautiful, but this wedding was just plain exceptional. From the start, I was honored to spend the day with the lovely bride as she prepared for the big ceremony. Dawn and I were with Victoria, her mom, and sister for most of the day as we all got our hair and makeup done. As for the ceremony, it was the most holy, blessed wedding I have ever attended, and probably will ever attend. Seven, yes SEVEN, priests served as concelebrants, which just really helped to demonstrate the sanctity of this sacred sacrament. You also could have sworn that everyone in south Louisiana was in attendance; so many guests were honored to witness the unity of this most blessed couple. If there's one thing I learned about Victoria and Seth is that they are loved...loved my many, loved by all. That's pretty darn special, if you ask me.

Skip forward a bit, and I attended another wedding recently--just yesterday, in fact. Jessica (better known as J-Smith), one of my officemates, married the love of her life, Jason. It was my second-ever outdoor wedding, and first-ever Baptist wedding. Not that I didn't expect there to be cultural differences, but there were a few traditions and dances, etc. that were completely new to me. It was definitely a learning experience. As all brides are, J-Smith was beautiful indeed, and her wonderful soon-to-be-husband was in awe of her glory. It was so sweet. One thing I took away from this celebration was the beauty in making a wedding all your own. Every bit of this wedding oozed personality of the happy couple. From the silly faces and hand-picked cotton decorations, to the unity soil, to the grand exit via John Deere, Jessica and Jason's personalities shined through. If I ever get married, I want it to be that way. I want to share food and traditions that are rooted deep in my being with all of the people who mean the most to me. That, to me, is one of the purest ways to honor the couple and their God that the designed them so.

Job-ly Juggles
Another thing that seems to be in the air these days is job juggling. One of my roommates, Courtney, recently got accepted for a managerial position at the NC State Vet School. She just left her job at the NC State Employees Credit Union and will be starting at the vet school next week. Another roommate of mine, Emily, went on a job interview for an Agricultural Education teacher position way out east near the coast. (She hasn't heard back yet.) Several of my classmates are actively (and not so actively) pursuing the job front. Jess is applying for Extension Agent (4-H & Livestock) positions across the state. It seems as though Justine and Elizabeth may just get lucky and have a couple of AgEd jobs fall right into their laps at just the right moment.

As for me, I don't think I mentioned that I applied for a Program Coordinator position at Victory Junction Gang Camp way back in September. About 6 weeks later I heard they were really behind in the process, and that we should assume we did not get the job if we didn't hear from them by Nov. 17. Well, last I checked, today is Nov. 22, and I've yet to hear anything so I'm going to assume that I didn't get the job or they decided not to fill the position (I heard that too.). I'm totally cool with that because, this way, I have all the time in the world to commit to writing... In any case, I have been thinking a lot about camp lately, which means that I really hope the stars align for me to spend a fourth summer at my home away from home. Now that, is a recipe for heart happiness. <3 br="">
Excitables
-Rascal Flatts' newest cd came out last week and once again I am pleasantly pleased...or in love...however you want to look at it! Just like I did 19 months earlier, I listened to the cd four consecutive times in the first few hours after acquiring the album. Two things were different this go round: my dearest Nicholas was not present to press "repeat," yet my lovely Lendy patiently relished in my obsessive anticipation of the awesomeness that is a new RF cd! Let's just say it was a good day. (I should note that I'm currently listening to the album for oh...about the 12th time...tehe.)
-Today I turned in the first three chapters of my thesis to my committee chair. (Yes, I am celebrating by drinking a whole bottle of wine by myself.) AHH!! Wahoooooooo!! (Ontomotopias continue.) Granted, my Chair has revised Chapters 1 and 3 about three times by now, but it was my first go at Chapter 2. Hopefully, I won't have to make too many revisions this go 'round, and instead I can focus more on data collection and formatting the chapters that I do have, before I start writing again in a few weeks. The plan is to finish data collection and analysis mid-December, have Chapters 4 and 5 as well as a conference paper submitted by mid January, a presentation designed by mid February, my defense March 2nd, the manuscript submitted by April 1, and a journal article accepted for publication by the end of May. So much to do! I have to say, birthing a thesis is much like birthing a child--exciting, and scary, and proud, and overwhelming all at once. Thank goodness I've got my rocks to care for me along the way...and share in the silliness while we're at it. 8-)
--All this talk about submissions can only mean one thing...the semester is almost over!! I'll save much of those details for perhaps another day, but let's just all get excited because we're one month, and one semester closer to the enddd. While we may spend the holidays writing, it will be worth for all the days in sweatpants and nights curled up watching movies on the couch. I may not be the most jovial at this time of the year, but I will admit that there are some definite perks to the season.

I must say, although the wine is delightful, if I don't stop now, things may get interesting. Forgive me for the lack of cohesiveness in this here entry; maybe I'll find something better to write about soon. That, or I'll just open another bottle and return again shortly, jk...maybe?

Ha.

Ta-ta for now, folks!
-Lauren

Music Speaks to the Soul

Began 10/25/10:
Most of you are fully aware that life has taken me on a roller-coaster ride of emotions, a ride that has lasted much longer than I anticipated. While this ride will probably last long into the future, I do hope that I develop better coping mechanisms, preferably sooner rather than later.

A few weeks ago I realized that it had been a while since I really connected with a song on the radio. Even though I'm not very in-tuned with music and all things related, I really enjoy country music and I feel as though it has some weird way of reaching deep down into my soul and connecting with both the "really awesome" and the "really tough" parts of life. [Maybe I can blame Rascal Flatts' lack of new material for all this introspection, ha.] But really, I've been aching and searching for a song with which I could really connect.

Flashing forward a bit, it looks like this week is shaping up to be a tough one emotionally...less for me and more for my friends, but still. Two of my really good friends here in Raleigh are going through a very tough time right now. It's strange how much I, too, am hurt by their pain. I'm not really sure why this is, but something about their situations is really weighing on my heart right now.

As usual, there are the ups and downs that come along with "birthing" a thesis, too. I am so thankful for the support we all have for each other in our little office/class cohort. The "rock collector" parable (have I talked about that here yet?) really has stuck with us, just as we stick with each other through all of the challenges that we seem to face on a daily basis. (At this point, I'm beginning to think that in order to get a Master's degree, your computer has to die at least once, you have to lose at least one data set or document/file, and you've got to think your capstone project is absolutely worthless at some point...just to earn that darn piece of paper.)

Continued 10/31/10:
I say all of this because in my search for "the" song of the moment, I realized it would be difficult to find something that really applied to me, and even more specificially, to the things going on in mine and my friends' lives. It's not every day you find songs about grad school, losing a child, making a tough decision, shattering your dreams, etc. I mean, sure, talk to T-Swift about heartbreak, and Good Ole Kenny can help ya with daydreaming about life on the beach, but those other things...they just don't sound so eloquent in a country song.

Last week, one of my co-workers/classmates (rock ladies, if you will) came into the office bursting at the seams wanting to play a song for us. As it turned out, the song was Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer," and she was so right when she said it fit our group quite well. Really the parts that apply to us are...
//We gotta hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not
We got each other and that's a lot...
//...Oh, we're half way there
Oh oh, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Oh oh, Livin' on a prayer!
In our case, we DO have each other, and that IS a lot. We ARE (more than) half way there. Together, we WILL make it. And really, we are lucky, blessed even, to have what we do. I truly believe that I would never make it through this challenge that is grad school without the support, encouragement, and understanding from those around me. And I know I can speak for all of us when saying, we really are "livin' on a prayer."

Only one day earlier than our little "Livin' on a Prayer" moment, the lovely Mrs. Pandora presented with me with my own version of "the song," yes, the exact song I had been waiting for all along. While I really hate to make this blog even longer than it is, most of you are well aware that I tend to post lengthy entries, and I don't think it would do the song justice to not include the lyrics, so please bear with me. Here it is:

One Day You Will - Lady Antebellum
(Click the link to watch a lyric video on YouTube.)
You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

[Chorus]
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

[Repeat Chorus]

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

[Repeat Chorus]

One day you will
Oh one day you will

Honestly, I don't really even know where to begin discussing this song. The Lovely Lady A somehow put out a song that reaches down into the depths of my heart and puts into words every bit of what I have felt, feel, and (probably) will feel. It's no secret that graduate school has been a struggle for me, and while I don't mean to sound depressed here, they really just say it quite perfectly. The beauty about this song, though, is not even about how I relate to it in my own life, but rather its universality.

For the friend who knows what she wants, but is scared she won't get it, or for the friend who has no idea what's next. For the friend who hurt someone or the one who was hurt. For the friend who lost everything, and the friend who lost just one thing. ...One day you (we) will.

One day we will have insight and understanding. One day all of the pain will be gone. One day we will be blessed with exactly what it is that we need.

We will find love. We will find peace. We will find the us we're meant to be. Right now, that's not the way it feels, but one day we will.

Wow. All I can say is wow. No amount of words or reflection here can really do this song justice in my heart. I guess, I really just wanted to include it here because I feel like it's a really profound set of insight for those of us who have daily struggles (hey--doesn't everyone?). We have to remember that "down the road the sun is shining, and in every cloud there's a silver lining."

On a lighter note, I think we should compile a GSG (Grad School Girls) soundtrack. It should be complete with a collection of empowering, reflective, motivating tunes. And just like us, this "Tune Rock" will pull us through, because...

One day we will.

-Lauren


PS: I haven't forgotten about the promise I made in my tweet-blog, nor that I need to write about the LeBlanc-Richard wedding, among other more-thought provoking topics.

Fall-in' Upside Down

It seems as though I can never write a blog with one single topic, and tonight is no different. Usually, it takes me forever to write because either (a) I have too much going on, or, (b) there isn't anything interesting to write about. I figured my next post would be about this special week in October, but now I've got something else I really need to get off of my chest, so it seems that tonight is the night.

As I just alluded, this has been a very special week for me. Fall Break at NC State was last Thursday and Friday (Oct. 7 & 8), and if you absolutely anything about me, I'm sure it would come as no surprise for you to hear that Fall Break was the perfect excuse for a good excursion. (Heck--do I even NEED excuses to travel? Uh, not really.) It actually worked out quite perfectly because I needed to be in Louisiana for two weekends in a row (more about that in a second). So, why not go all out and make it an extended vacation? Now that sounds more like it!

[I would also like to note that this is the first time since before 2007 that I have not been in Idaho during this week in October. It's a sad day because of this.]

The reason I needed to be in Louisiana is because two of my very good, long-time friends are getting married tomorrow. Victoria LeBlanc and Seth Richard are finally tying the knot after six long years of dating. In fact, I still remember the day I returned from French immersion in Canada in 2004; Victoria called to tell me she'd gone on a date the night before...and the rest is history. Sorry, I digress. Anyway, they're getting married tomorrow, and I have graciously accepted the offer to serve as a bridesmaid for all of the festivities. Thankfully, Fall Break--literally--fell into place, with the rehersal, dinner, and bridal luncheon all planned for last weekend, and of course, the big day is tomorrow. This way, I was able to extend my vacation and take a whole week to be at home with my family in Louisiana. What a nice deal.

Also, another one of my dearest friends, Dawn, was asked to serve in the wedding, too. She (and another bridesmaid) are traveling back and forth from Texas for the festivities. Since Dawn was so gracious to spend 18 hours in a car with me last summer on one of my cross-country drives, I felt it was only fitting for me to offer a similar gift to her. With the extended holiday, I went ahead and flew to meet her in Austin, Texas on Wednesday night (Oct. 6). On Thursday morning, we visited a military museum at a local base, and did a little hiking at Mount Bonnabell. It was a good little half-day tourist experience. That afternoon, I was able to get some work done before bringing Dawn "dinner" at the hospital where she is doing her internship. She showed me around the beautiful facilities, and I did a little more work while she finished up for the evening. On Friday morning, we hit the road nice and early, making it to Abbeville in the early afternoon. (Dawn continued onto Baton Rouge, for she had a different wedding rehersal and dinner to attend to that evening.)

Fortunately, my early arrival allowed for a few hours worth of extra time to spend with a very cute, happy, and fun set of triplets! In fact, I got to play with not one, but TWO sets of triplets!! Laurie made friends with another triplet mom while in the hospital, and the two planned to have a play date Friday afternoon. It was so fun to see six babies all in one room! I'm gonna ressurect the Rosie O'Donnell here and say--cutie patooties!

Friday night, I was able to see yet another group of family members at my cousin Ross's high school football game. Ross is a senior quarterback for his team, which happened to be 5-0 up until then. Sadly, I had never received the opportunity to watch him play, so again, it worked out perfectly for me to be there. It really sucked that they lost the game, and Ross got hurt right at the end, but I am so grateful to have had the chance to be there, with our whole entire family, supporting him. I hope it meant as much to him as it did to me...

Saturday was another full day; I spent the morning shopping for dresses to all the wedding events. The rehersal festivities began with 5 p.m. Mass in Delcambre, and then went straight into the practice. With a huge wedding party and 7 con-celebrants (priests), it will be quite a feat to orchestrate. Afterwards, we all gathered for a delicious homecooked meal--Cajun style, of course! There was seafood and chicken/sausage gumbo, potato salad, bread, and dessert. Yumm. Good food and good times.

Sunday, Hilary (bridesmaid attending grad school in Houston for dietetics) and her mom hosted a beautiful bridal luncheon. Again, the food was great, company was wonderful, and the cake pull was a blast! I pulled the engagement ring...we'll see how that works out. lol. Later, I spent the afternoon playing with my cousins again. Man, I really miss our Sunday dinners...like really.

Since have been home all week, people are constantly asking what I am up to. I guess most people can't quite fathom what a girl would with her time while sitting at home alone all day. Don't worry, I have enjoyed it thoroughly. It is so nice to have the house to myself, to work at my own pace, and get things done. Because I set my alarm to be up at a decent time, and worked pretty consistently all day long, every day this week, I am completely content with my time this week. I feel very okay with the progress I have made, simply because I know that I gave it my all and I could not have fit anything else into my days of productivity. It would have been nice to have all of my thesis writing materials at my disposal, to have totally completed the work for my professor, or to have even done a little extra academic work, but I figure that since I used my time wisely and did make some progress, that I've just got to be okay with it. I also figured that since I never have the opportunity to just "be" with my family, when the parents came home, it was time to put the books away. There is nothing in life more important than the people you love, and my Master's degree can go to the hot place if it means spending the whole week with my nose in a computer instead of with them. Plus, I think they really do miss me, and loved to have me home for such an extended period of time.

Despite all of my contentness with the work I accomplished this week, tonight I received a fairly decent blow to the progress on my thesis. As of Saturday (two days from now?), my pilot study will have been out for 3 weeks. I was supposed to close it on Monday (the one that just passed), but because I only had about half of the responses I was aiming for, I had to leave it open a little longer. Still, we hoped to have the pilot data analyzed by mid-week, so that changes could be made to the instrument before I send it out to the actual sample sometime in the near future. However, I received the not-great news this afternoon, from a colleague at Texas A&M who is pseudo serving on my committee as the stats person.

He said that he won't even touch my data until I have at least 25-30 responses. How many do I have now? 13. You got it, I need 17 more before reliability tests would be anywhere near accurate. Since I've spent the last 3 weeks bugging people via e-mail, and all this week calling camps via phone, I can't for the life of me fathom how I will convince 17 more people to take part in my pilot study. Said committee person offered a few suggestions for how to proceed from here, but it really is quite discouraging to hear that I'm nowhere near completing the process of my pilot study. I'm pretty sure I'm already behind the schedule that my advisor laid out in August, so heaven knows what that means for the rest of our plans.

I guess the bottom line is that there is nothing I could have done differently to make things go a better way in this situation. I did everything that I was supposed to, and I have been on top of it all from the very beginning of the semester. I don't even want to know how I would feel right now if that were not the case. The work has to get done no matter what, and I'm pretty sure my advisor isn't going to let me drop out, so I suppose I have to pull it all together, wipe the tears, and move on. Thankfully, I will be taking the next few days off for the wedding (and recuperation, lol), so I'll revisit the situation when I get back to Raleigh on Monday. We'll fix it, we'll make it work, and I WILL graduate in May. (In fact, Justine noted tonight that we graduate in exactly 7 months. This first trimester has proved to be a challenge, so who knows what the next two will do to us. Regardless, we're "due" in only 7 months! There is a light...)

It's times like these I really wish we had our little grad school blog up and running. Kinks in the plan seem to be inevitable when it comes to grad school and thesis writing. While it's no walk in the park, I suppose it makes us better...somehow...and the rocks we collect along the way go far in building a strong foundation for our future.

In any case, despite this setback, I feel very blessed to have experienced this week at home. My anxiety level is way down, and I just feel so much comfort for being at home in the familiarity that is home. I am sorry that I have not been able to be there (both physically and emotionally) to those I left behind, but I hope they will understand that this is just something that I had to do. And, maybe they'll even consider coming along next time...Mardi Gras 2011 is around the corner, and you can bet that I'll be here to celebrate!

In fact, it's only fitting to end with this...
Laissez les bon temps rouler!
-Lauren

It's Scorching Out There!

Hello again!

I hope summer is treating you all well. Has anyone died from heat exhaustion yet? Gosh, I'm surprised I haven't. The temperatures are ridiculous!! Heat indicies in the upwards of 112*F range, much less regular temperatures ranging from 92-97 on a consistent basis has just been absolutely miserable! I can't believe it's been this consistently hot for almost a month straight, with absolutely no end in sight! It's crazzzy.

A lot has transpired since I last wrote, so I guess it's time for my monthly update right about now. During my final days in Louisiana, I did make a concerted effort to hound out some work on my thesis. In fact, I put together my first official draft of Chapter 1 (of 5) and sent it off for revisions to my Major Professor. She's been too busy to get anything back yet, so I'm not sure how it looks. I'm hoping to hear something by the end of next week, since I'll have a week off of camp to maybe get some more work done on it.

Oh, I also got to see the babies a few more times before I left. They were just growing SO fast; I can't imagine how big they'll be when I see them again in August!! Maybe their mother and uncle will send me some updated pictures soon enough. *Hint, hint. Wink, wink!*

Now, I'm here in Arkansas for the remainder of the summer, though I did jet away for a week. Backing up, though, I should say that I arrived in Arkansas on Saturday, June 5th; Staff Training at camp started the following morning (Sunday) and went through Friday of that week. As always, training week was a lot of fun. It's the one week where us counselors get to play at camp without any real responsibilities. The training sessions are very informative, and we spend a lot of time bonding with one another. One cool thing about training this year was that a guy from the National Inclusion Project (based in RTP!) came out and did a 6 hour training for us. His program was awesome—it was interactive, fun, and interesting. I really want to learn more about their organization whenever I get some time to aimlessly browse the interwebs...lol.

The following week, June 13-18th, was Muscular Dystrophy week here at camp. MD week was once again a great week. In fact, it's generally my second favorite week of the whole summer (next to Spina). The kids are always awesome, and we're way overstaffed. To illustrate, we had 6 counselors, 5 volunteers, and 7 campers in my cabin. We had the oldest girls, who were super sweet and fun. Oh—I was selected as Quawpaw Tribe Chief for both Staff Training and MD week, which was interesting. I'm sooo not Tribe Chief material, but I made the best of it and tried to represent the Quawpaws as well as I could.

Unfortunately, I had to leave camp early that week, because of other engagements. Right after finishing up at the archery range (Oh yeah, guess I didn't mention that I'm working there again this summer—yay!) on Thursday, Matt Eckess (former camper/counselor), picked me up at camp and brought me to the airport. I arrived in Baton Rouge later that evening, and spent both Thursday and Friday nights at Dawn's house in Brusly. Friday morning, she and I went to one of her younger sister's (Joy) swim meets at LSU. We ran errands around the city and then took a brief nap before getting ready for the wedding that evening.

Friday night, we went to Donaldsonville for Joey and Kim's wedding. The wedding was sooooo much fun!!! I had a GREAT time seeing everyone, dancing, etc. Annie and Jen, my college roommates, came to the wedding too; I hadn't seen Jen since we graduated a year and a half ago, and I'd only seen Annie a few times since then. It was just incredible to see everyone and really have time to enjoy each other. Among the Idaho folks were Jesse, Stew, Jason, Brin (all Joey's roommates), Juan, Jeff, and Derek. Other out-of-town visitors included Jess (PA/NC/ID), Bri (ID/GA), Nathan (ID/WA), two people from Montreal, and a guy from England. Needless to say it was definitely an intercultural experience!

Saturday, I crashed a going-away party for Dawn's college roommate who is moving to Virginia to work as an engineer for the Navy or something like that. That afternoon, we went to Luling to spend time with Annie for her 23rd birthday. Annie's parents made a yummy dinner and tasty ice cream cake; we had a good time visiting with her family and playing games, as game-playing is a Stewart Family staple. Although we planned to meet the Idaho group in New Orleans, Dawn and I ended up staying in Luling that night, instead.

Earlyyyy Sunday morning, Dawn brought me to the airport in New Orleans, where I met Jess, Jeff, and Derek. Because I hadn't gotten a chance to hang out with the group the night before, Stew and Nathan agreed to drag their butts out of bed in order to come see me at the airport before I left...how sweet. Jess and I flew to Milwaukee (through Chicago) from there to meet our professor and two other graduate students for the Association of Leadership Educators Conference.

ALE was held June 20th-24th at Cardinal Stritch University in Milwaukee. While there, NC State established their presence with several poster, research, round table, etc. presentations. By the end of it, pretty much everyone knew who we were and what our involvement was. (I will say, it didn't hurt to have your professor as Conference Chair and incoming President of the organization, lol.) While in Milwaukee, we toured the Miller Brewery and went on a progressive dinner (having each course at a different restaurant) in the downtown area, finishing with custard at a little kiosque on Lake Michigan. It was really cool to experience the German culture, and to see a brand new state. I'm almost half way, now!

Yesterday, I arrived back in Little Rock. Amber (twin of this weekend's bride-to-be) picked me up and we spent the afternoon running some errands to prepare for tomorrow's wedding. [Yes, I was invited to 3 weddings, in 3 states, over the course of just two weeks!] I was able to see both the afternoon and evening crew of counselors during their break time, and really got a lot of things done here around the apartment. Just last night, I did three loads of laundry (two of which were for Kyle), picked up around the apartment, and cleaned Blain's bathroom. I guess I have got to earn my keep somehow, haha!

Today, I went to the closing ceremony for Spina Bifida camp. I'm so glad I got the chance to see my girls, even if it was just for a few minutes. I hear camp was pretty insane this week (ask if you care to know the intense details). We also got paid today--yay--so I stayed after the cereony for the counselor meeting and picked up both mine and Amber's checks. Can't do with out those “megga bucks”........right? ;-)

Now, I'm sitting in the apartment, blogging (duh) and waiting for the crew to get back from lunch. I think everyone went to eat at Damgoode Pies (pizza) and predict they'll all be home soon for an afternoon of napping. Maybe we'll grill out or do something interesting tonight, who knows.

As I said before, tomorrow's Ashley's wedding. I hope I can find someone from Little Rock to carpool with me, as I don't want to drive all the way to Morrilton alone; me and unfamiliar driving territory is just a tad nervewracking.

This next week at camp is Kota I (I'll define that next time), and then we have a week off for July 4th. To date, I have no real plans for break week; unless the guys say I can't, I figure I'll just stay here at the apartment and bum around Little Rock. It'll be nice to be here without rushing around all the time, for once. Maybe I'll even get some of the thesis writing out of the way...one can only hope, right?

For now though, I think this third installment of your summer reading is about done.

Oh—calling all letter writers: send me some mail! Lendy and Kara have done a wonderful job of sending fun letters and cards, who's next? My goal is to fill the wall next to my camp bed by the end of the summer, so send some goodies my way! My address is posted below. Thanks in advance!

Stay cool!
-Lauren

2000 Aldersgate Road
Little Rock, AR 72205

Confessions to Make

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about blogging. I'm in a technology class--one that many would consider to be a joke--considering the topics we discuss in class. Some of you would be thrilled to spend 2 hours every week talking about Google and its many features such as collaboration tools (Docs) and social networking (Reader, Blogger, etc.). We had two whole class periods devoted to Google, but nearly every week, we have discussed various technology tools, which often included tutorials on the Google version of such tool. My point is with this technology class, I've had plenty of excuses to surf the interwebs of Twitter and Blogger on a frequent basis, though I've been terrible at updating my own blog.

For this reason, I've been contemplating...What do I want out of blogging? What is my purpose for recording my life? Is it practical to keep a blog if I don't write in it frequently? Honestly, my purpose for blogging (as opposed to say, an online journal such as Livejournal) was originally to keep a record of my Child Life internship process, and all things related as such. At the time, I never imagined my life would evolve into an adventure that included several years working at an amazing summer camp, a semester living in the most powerful city in the world, and two years in a place that has landed me on the biggest rollercoaster of life.

I still want to write about everything I've been up to; my life is just as crazy as ever. However, I guess this two-year stent has got me feeling bored and unsatisfied with the way my blog is going, at least compared to the way it was intended. I'm just not sure how to rectify the situation, other than by either (a) attempting to write more often (but really, who wants to hear about my life as a not-so-dedicated grad student?) or (b) putting my blog on hold until something more significant comes along. If I really did keep up with this blog the way I should, perhaps it could be worthy of chronicaling life as a grad student, but my grad school life is anything but typical, so how is that valid?

In any case, these things have been on my mind a bit lately. With that little confession out of the way, I'm going to get on with updating you all about my recent adventures. Mkay, thanks.

Annie's Visit: February 25-28, 2010
One of my amazing college roommates, Annie, came to visit for a weekend in February. Her brother swims for Virginia Tech, so she and her parents came up to see him in the ACC finals, which were held at UNC. Annie's parents stayed at a hotel in Chapel Hill, but Annie stayed with me in Raleigh. While she was here, we watched Trey swim a few times, and explored Chapel Hell (heh) a bit. We also had some good girl time. This was completely necessary, since Annie and I have not really had a chance to really spend time together more than once or twice since we moved out of our apartment almost two years ago. Crazy how time flies, and even crazier how much I miss Nicholls, and Thibodaux, and everything about it...especially because it was one of the last times in my life when I was truly happy. In any case, I very much enjoyed Annie's visit and I really hope she'll be able to make it out to my neck of the woods again in the not too distant future.

A Surprise at Home: March 4-7, 2010
By now, I'm sure you have all figured out that grad school isn't exactly thrilling for me, and traveling has become an excellent coping mechanism in my life. lol. With that in mind, I got it in my head that I was bound and determined to make it home for a weekend this semester. However, with everything going on, I wasn't sure which weekend to pick. In February, I got to contemplating the idea of going home near my birthday (Mid-March) or for Easter. As it got closer, things fell into place for me to take a different trip on my birthday, but I was still in a funk about the idea of missing both Mardi Gras AND my birthday for two years in a row. For this reason, I decided to book a semi-last-minute airplane ticket for a trip home during the first weekend of March.

The "surprise" part of this story comes in when I say that I only told one person that I was coming home--my mother. You got it, no one knew I was coming home, not my dad, brother, grandparents, aunt/uncle/cousins...no one! That weekend happened to be the one that fell in between my Nanna's birthday and my own birthday, so I figured it would be a great birthday present to the both of us. As it turned out, my weekend at home was better than I could have ever imagined. The surprise component worked out great--everyone was completely surprised and thrilled to have me at home. I think there were a total of 5 surprises throughout the weekend, which was so much fun! It was so nice to see everyone, and I really enjoyed the quality time I was able to have. Cajun food and people galore, what more could a girl ask for? I love Louisiana.

MooKim Day & Spring Break in Idaho: March 11-16, 2010
With my birthday as the first day of my Spring Break, I decided to peace out of town a little bit early, and get a jump start on my holiday by flying out to Boise on Thursday, the 11th of March. Let me just say that the 11th of March was one of the longest days of my life...I literally had 26 hours of life on that day. After dropping Jess at the airport at 5 a.m. for her flight, I went back to my apt to pack and get ready for my trip. Long story short, my flight was super delayed, so I got rerouted on a much later flight which left me with several extra hours in Raleigh. Thankfully, Wil was willing to pick me up and let me take a nap at his apartment for a while, cuz I was so darn exhausted by that point, and my travels hadn't even begun. Needless to say, by the time I made it to Boise, I rang in my 23rd birthday with a late night of reunions at the boys' house and then girl talk with Kim that lasted into the wee hours of the morning.

Over the course of the next few days, I had the oppotunity to visit everyone at the hospital (where I interned in Fall 2008) and catch up with a lot of my friends in the area. We celebrated Kim and my birthday (MooKim Day) with a get-together at Kim's apartment and some fun times at both Bardenay and Jeff's apartment, too. I went on a 4-wheeling adventure with Derek, Jeff, and Jess (which has now become tradition for us). I also returned to the hot springs for the first time since my very first trip to Idaho 2.5 years ago. (Unfortunately, the experience was just as traumatic as the first, but in a different way. Needless to say, I will not be going back.) As always, I really enjoyed seeing everyone; so many of my Boise friends have been welcoming to me from the very beginning, despite our differences. I truly value their generosity and friendship and I can't wait to see everyone this summer in Louisiana for Kim and Joey's wedding...less than 2 months from now! Yay.

National 4-H Conference: March 18-26, 2010
For the fourth year in a row, I returned to Washington, DC as a Collegiate Facilitator for National 4-H Conference. In all my years of 4-H involvement, National Conference remains my all-time favorite 4-H experience. This year, the delegates to conference were, by far, the most quality group we have had in all of my years there. The kids were so great--passionate and driven like none other. Of course, the Tators had a great time bonding with each other and making memories to last a lifetime.

This year at Conference was a little different for me; I like to say I had the "graduate student" experience because of how many commitments I had throughout the week. Before applying to serve as a facilitator, I submitted a proposal to present a workshop with two people from back home. A few weeks after our proposal was accepted, I was selected to serve as a Facilitator. Then, one of the professors here at NC State approached Jess (who had also been selected as a Facilitator) about a research project for the Association of Leadership Educators Conference this summer. Together, we decided to do some qualitative research at Conference, which consisted of interviewing all 13 of the other Facilitators about the impact of their leadership experiences in 4-H. Needless to say, between developing all of my roundtable sessions, presenting the workshop in two sessions, and leading both focus groups and delegation interacts, PLUS the interviews, it was a crazyyyy week at Conference.

In the end, I very much enjoyed my experience at Conference. Nick (one of my former housemates and co-workers from my stent in DC), flew into DC on our last day of Conference. He came to see Christy and I as part of his Spring Break. For this reason, I convinced Jess to stay in DC with me for an extra day, so we got to hang out a little bit while he was there. Boy did I miss those kids...too much. Despite our distance, I talk to my WaHa kids on a daily basis, and DC will forever have a piece of my heart.

Easter in Eastern NC: April 2-4, 2010
Well folks, I guess it's about time I admitted it...I have a boyfriend. Yes, I just said that. Eeek. *Thinks to self: "Don't jinx it!"* For those of you who haven't heard, I'm dating a guy here in NC. We met in class because we've had pretty much all of our classes together since I've been here. Wil happens to be a student in AgEd. who was just offered a full-time position teaching agriculture at a high school in Morehead City, NC. (That's ON the beach, for those of you who are unfamiliar with NC.) *Congrats, Wil!*

Anyway, what does that have to do with the "Easter in Eastern NC" title? I figured I ought to give little background before going onto my rant about spending Easter weekend with a random guy and his family, heh. So now you know--Wil isn't random. Haha. In any case, holidays away from the family are always sad and a little bit awkward. It's nice of friends to invite me to spend time with their family so that I'm not alone on the holiday, but it's never quite the same. Needless to say, I was very appreciative of the Easter offers that came from several people here at school--Jess in PA and Lendy in NC, being two of them. However, things just kind of fell into place for me to go home with Wil to meet his family for Easter. Overall, it was a nice weekend; they were very welcoming and friendly, and I really had a lot of fun. :)

Girls Weekend on OBX: April 16-18, 2010
With the semester coming to an end soon, we ladies in the office decided it was time for a girls' weekend. Katie's graduating in a few weeks, so she requested a trip to the Outerbanks. I hadn't made it out there yet, so I was all in favor of the mini-vacay. Katie, Lendy, Jess, and I headed out on the open road early Friday morning with plans to make a few tourist-y stops before setting up camp on the southern end of the island near Buxton/Cape Hattaras.

Along the way, we visited Kitty Hawk, Kill Devil Hills (largest natural sand dunes on the East coast), and the Cape Hattaras lighthouse. As luck would have it, we happened to tour on the 100-somethingth birthday of a Wright brother and the first climbing day at the lighthouse, so we got free admittance at both sites. It was pretty much the coolest thing ever. Lendy scored us a stinkin awesome townhouse at the Cape Hattaras hotel. With three balconies and a literal "on the beach" location, we were in Heaven. Moral of the story: we had a wonderfully relaxing, awesome, fun girl's weekend. Perhaps we ought to make a tradition out of it?

4-H Gala in DC: April 22-24, 2010
Randomly, one of my best friends from home, Victoria called me on Tuesday to say that she had an extra ticket to the 4-H gala in DC on Thursday. You all know how I am with last minute decisions and plans...they don't sit well with me. I freak out and get anxious, etc. However, since I had sort of worked on the gala project while working in DC last spring, I really didn't want to pass up the opportunity to attend the gala, especially when the tickets cost $750 each. On the other hand, I really didn't want to drive to DC for one night only, especially by myself. With that in mind, Victoria was able to score an additional ticket so that Wil could come along for the trip. (Since he'd never been to DC before, I had been telling him that I'd show him the city one day, and everything just fell into place for it to happen then.)

The gala was really nice; there were a good number of people and the set-up was super fancy. I really enjoyed seeing Molly, my former boss, and it was kind of funny to watch the other Council employees run around with their heads chopped off while I sat there and enjoyed the experience. lol. I think Victoria really appreciated our presence there, and I don't blame her--who wants to sit around at a fancy dinner and not know anyone, much less talk to a bunch of boring old rich people? Haha. I should also note that it was really fun to hang out with Tori for an evening, since I haven't gotten to see her since she and Seth's ornament (engagement) party in December. So, yay.

As for the rest of the weekend, I am forever grateful to Miss Christy Clary, one of my former co-workers/housemates (in DC) for allowing Wil and I to stay at Warren Hall for the duration of our time in DC. Although we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time together, I enjoyed seeing Christy and catching up with her about life in the good ole DC. Also, despite our short two days in the city, Wil and I were able to visit sixteen, yes SIXTEEN, different sites. It was crazy. We toured all of Friday and Saturday and made it back to Raleigh around 11 p.m. Saturday night. When it was all said and done, I'm pretty sure Wil really enjoyed his first visit to DC. Of course, there is still plenty more to see, but I'm sure he'll have another chance to make it out there eventually. It was definitely fun for me to play tour guide with someone who doesn't walk like a snail (aka: annoying 8th grade students) aaand who actually enjoys history, sometimes more than me, lol.

Grad School Sucks as Always
*Disclaimer: If you are in any way affiliated with my grad school or another, don't take what I am about to say personally. These are the thoughts and opinions of me and me only; it's my blog and I reserve the right to say what I please here.*

This semester has been a little better as far as coping with grad school is concerned, but a huge part of that is the fact that I have been traveling the majority of the time. In some ways, I've been considerably more involved socially, and my commitment to school has definitely fallen by the wayside. It sounds terrible, but I'm sure I would have reverted to my old ways (profuse complaining) once again. I guess I should note that these days I have decided I don't hate NC State, and maybe not even NC (as much as I used to, anyway), but I do absoultelyyy hate the whole graduate school process. Ughhh.

The thought of writing a thesis makes me want to vomit and/or burn down the building. It's not that I'm incapable of doing the work, I just don't enjoy it. Not one bit. In fact, I'm pretty sure I loathe it. Over these last 10 months of school, I've had a few tastes of research and scientific writing, and I've learned that this process makes me want to cut my throat. ('Scuse the morbidity here, lol.) In any case, I am absolutely dreading the idea of this thesis project. However, since I'm pretty much done with schoolwork for the semester, I really ought to get cracking on it. It's slightly problematic that I seem to be finding every viable alterative to writing. Oops.

Summer Soon!
In any case, I'm looking forward to some time for relaxing here in Raleigh before I head out for the summer. Looking to the future, Victoria is flying to Raleigh on the 16th, and we'll hit the open road for our 2-day trip back to Cajun Country with an ETA on the evening of May 18th. Our brothers graduate high school that weekend, and I'll be able to spend almost 2 weeks at home before I head out to Arkansas for 6 weeks at camp. My nieces/nephew (triplets) have a scheduled arrival for later this week, so I can't wait to meet them and spend some time pampering the little bebes during my short time at home. I'm not sure what else I'll be up to this summer, but I'll be back in Raleigh sometime around mid-August, I guess.

I'll do my best to keep regular updates, but you know how that goes these days...With that being said, I think this novel is long enough. Hey--maybe this will get you all on track for some summer reading; goodness knows it's long enough! Haha.

Until next time,
Lauren