Job Fever

It's the last day of January, and we all know what that means...blog-time! Feeling a little drowsy today, but wanting to be productive nonetheless, I thought, "Hey, today would be a good day for a blog!" Only then did I realize it's the last day of the month, which means I need to get on it if I want to keep my commitment to blogging twice a month.

Thankfully, I had an idea of what to write in this entry (several, actually), so that part wasn't too hard. Interestingly, I have ideas for two more blogs brewing in this little brain of mine, so you may be plesantly surprised over the next few weeks. However, don't expect too much, as we all know how those things go.

As usual, first comes the thesis (or "feces") update. I'm having a tough time getting back into the swing of all things school related. The minimum is done, but while I was once ahead of the pack on thesising, I'm falling farther behind daily. I really should finalize revisions and get on that formatting stuff, but ughh, there are just so many more interesting things to do with my time. Only 4 weeks til D-Day (defense)! ahhh.

And because these days I can't blog without including one of those fun comics, here's this entry's addition:



This particular comic is appropriate because I spent the first week of school performing daily revisions on a paper that was submitted for a research conference in Idaho this May. No word yet on whether it'll be accepted, but honestly, I'm perfectly okay if it doesn't get in. I'd really prefer to keep my post-graduation calendar as open as possible, and attending a research conference the week after isn't exactly in my list of highlights.

And after all that, I can finally get onto the "main course," if you will. As I'm sure you could gather from the title, this entry is all about the mooolahhhhh. Well, sort of. What I mean is that job fever is working itself through our office like the plague.

I'm not sure where it started, and I may have mentioned that several job "leads" were out for my friends and classmates in previous entries, but goodness the jobs have exploded! In the last month, there have been at least 8 job interviews among four of us, collectively. Two of the J's have received jobs in Extension, one as a 4-H Agent and one as a Livestock/Row Crops Agent. While it may not have been a heavenly set-up for either of them, I think they will both find happiness in their new endeavors, both short and long term. ;-)

The third J (Yes, we're surrounded by J's in NC too...reminds me of the Idaho J boys, haha!) received wonderful news today; she was offered a position as teacher a biotechnology teacher at a middle school about 45 minutes from Raleigh! Slated to start her student teaching practicum sometime this week, this last minute news is great, since this offer will be a permanent position, instead. Everyone's dreams are falling together, and it's so sweet to think back to when we all started out just a year and a half ago... Congratulations, yay!

In the midst of all this job-ness, I started to feel left out. So, uh, I *gasp* decided to apply for a job, too. WHAT, you say? Yeah, I know. What happened to not wanting a job 'til August? Well, I don't, really...but...like I said, I felt left out!

The dish, you want? In an effort to avoid thesising (story of my life, right?) I spent a Friday evening surfing the websites of hospitals in four states, scoping out openings for Child Life positions. In the process, I came across an opening in Greenville, South Carolina. After researching the program, and the hospital's website, I kept coming back to that program. So, on a whim, I threw together the application, without thinking too much, and before I could convince myself not to do it, I submitted the darn thing. This was around 8 p.m. on a Friday night, and by Monday morning (before 9 a.m.), I had an e-mail requesting a phone interview for the following afternoon. Whoaaa, talk about fast moving...especially for something I did on a whim! (Those of you who know me, realize this is sooo not a "Lauren thing" to do!)

In any case, the interview went okay. I feel like I represented myself fairly, and to the best that I could given my background and experiences. However, I think they may be hoping for someone with more experience, or just something other than what I have to offer. I've been watching the status of my application online, but I haven't seen anything of interest there yet. I'll be sure to share if I hear anything; either way, I'm content because for now I am still in school, and the future will take care of itself.

Needless to say, these next few months are sure to be interesting. We made a paper chain countdown to graduation in the office, and it's bittersweet to watch the links disappear daily. All in all, I'm really excited about the possibilities and I can't wait to see how everything unfolds.

As always, stay tuned.
-Lauren

PS: The title of this entry reminded me of this song. Enjoy. (And believe it or not, it's not country. Ha.)

A Tribute to "The Land of the Sugarcane"

I believe it's been a while since I composed a full-out, poetic, belle of the bayou type entry. While I'm not sure these things can be planned exactly, by golly, today I hope to try. I am of the thought that those heart-wrenching, truly thought-provoking blogs really evolve out of inspiration rather than cognitive forethought, so we'll see what happens.

This morning I found myself on yet another plane—east, this time—heading back toward a place that is, though geographically only 1,000 miles away, a world apart in more ways than one. As I settled in for what has become a familiar ride, I cracked open a book in hopes of occupying my thoughts for the short trip. I'm no newcommer to flying, unlike many of the fellow guests who occupy the cramped space on this tiny regional get. I always crack a smile at the first-time fliers who have thousands of questions about this exciting, yet overwhelming, experience. It's always particularly interesting when traveling outbound from Lafayette, as so many of the locals rarely travel by plane...or by any mass transit, for that matter.

Today, this particular experience placed a bit of inspiration on my blogging heart. The book I happen to be reading is titled Poor Man's Provence: Finding Myself in Cajun Louisiana. While I'm not sure that “outsiders,” can truly understand the poetic stories featured in this work, I find myself engrossed in the fairytales that are so familiar to me. I think, it should be required reading for friends of our dear Cajuns, to study (formally or informally) the heritage and culture of the Acadian people. It sounds strange, but I just feel as though there's no way to truly understand who we are and what we do, without such knowledge.

But back to my story. For the last month, I have been blessed with the opportunity to spend time in the lovely place that I call home. Cajun Country, Acadiana, South Louisiana – however you choose to name it, it's still home to me. Even as I sit here, composing this entry after reading a very flowy and descriptive text, I find it challenging to provide readers with an accurate and complete picture of my homeland. Ask those who have visited – words just cannot do it justice.

The food, the people, their love for life and never-ending excuses for celebration. All of it. As I read about drive-through daiquiri shops, dirty politics (dirtier than our rice—I promise), stormy weather, ornately costumed drunkards in expected and acceptable brawls, as well as opposition to all things fancy and anti-cultural, I realized that the Cajun culture would forever be a part of me. While I have not yet signed up to spend the rest of my life within a 3 hour radius of “The Heart of Acadiana” (Lafayette), there is no mistaking that I will forever be Cajun—in heart, body, and soul.

To those of you who have visited, and even those who haven't, I want to extend a very special invitation. You are always welcome to come along for the ride, albeit a wild one, to “the end of the earth”--both literally and figuratively. Come, we'll drive to edge...where the road ends and water begins. We'll eat good food and drink merrily. We'll meet joyful, exuberant friends, and you'll leave with a sense of family. For those who come, never forget. And those who stay, will always be home.

I'll leave you with a philosophy for life, inspired by the people of Avery Island, Louisiana, home of world-famous Tobasco sauce: “When your sugar is wiped out by the enemy, do something creative with your salt. Protect the birds in your own back yard first. And, oh, yes, relish the unexpected.” - Rheta Grimsely Johnson (Poor Many's Provence: Finding Myself in Cajun Lousiana)

"Louisiana: It's not just a state, it's a state of mind." (LYJ)
- Lauren

**Last night, I dreamed I was eaten by an alligator. Now, if that ain't Cajun, I don't know what is!

Yippie.

The reason I am writing today is because I made a commitment (to myself) to publish a minimum of two entries each month, and today just so happens to be the last day of the month, not to mention the last day of the year. I've been contemplating this entry for a few weeks, but still I have nothing particularly significant to share. Instead, I will revert to my typical ramblings about what's been up over the last few weeks. (Sorry, no witty witty banter to follow.)

The week before I left for home, it snowed in Raleigh!! Granted, there wasn't much to show for it in my neck of the woods, but it sure made my day!! In fact, that week, it didn't get up to 40 degrees until four days later, and even then it was still pretty frigid. Balmy 75 degree temperatures welcomed me home on December 11th, yet it snowed again in Raleigh only a few days later. While temps here in Louisiana have followed the extremes (record breaking lows followed days later by almost 80 degree temperatures), Raleigh lucked out with a near blizzard the day after Christmas which resulted in 7 inches of fluffy white stuff on my sweet little Cajun-yota. B-)

Here goes an update on "the feces," or "thesis baby," whatever the mood mood of choice may happen to be. Thanks to all of you who put in a few requests to the god of survey research, because it sure paid off. I sent out one "last-ditch" effort and received several responses soon thereafter. By the skin of my teeth, I think I managed to grab a 40% response rate.

Since school let out, I spent much of my time working on the thesis. Several comments were made about how I should be enjoying my time or doing something fun, but the reality of it is that being home in Cajun Country, working (like crazy) at my leisure, while sitting on the couch in pajamas all day, yet still having time to watch (cable!) tv and read and visit with family...that IS enjoying my time. No complaints, really.

Thus far, I put together a 29 page draft of my Chapter 4, which I gleefully submitted to my professor on Christmas Eve (Merry Christmas, JB!)! Just as I made it about half-way through the first draft of Chapter 5, I received revisions for #4. (The ball sure is rolling...) I hope to finish Chapter 5 sometime today or at least by Monday, so that I can get moving on revisions to Chapter 4 and put together a draft of my submission for a conference in Idaho this spring. The deadline for that is January 14th, but my chair would like a draft of it by the 7th. So, we all know what Lauren will be doing to celebrate her last week at home, ha.



Never fear, I have done a few things other than work on "the feces." As typical of this season, I've spent a lot of time with family--both my immediate family (parentals and brother), and a bit of the extended bunch, as well. Some of my favorite times this holiday have been spent with the three lovely bundles--better known as the Danenberg triplets!

On two back to back weeks, I was asked to stay a night at the Danenberg home. Of course(!), I happily obliged. Even while doing other chores around the home, there is just something magical about being in the presence of three well-behaved, happy, beautiful, and fun babies! I was also able to observe an evaluation by representatives from the LA Early Steps program, and go along with the babies to their physical therapy session one afternoon. The following week, I went with them on an outing to Baton Rouge to see a pediatric opthamologist. It was the first time I was really able to experience the looks and questions that seem to follow the babies wherever they go. Either way, these babies are still the most well-behaved group of children I have encountered in a long time, and there is something special to be said for each of their unique, developing smiles and personalities. I could just eat 'em up!

Peer socialization has been pretty much non-existant since I've been home. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of online and text interaction with friends from across the country (per usual), but I haven't done anything with friends here. There's always that small glimmer of possibility that things will work out for me to visit with some of my local friends or even the college roommates, but it never quite seems to work. I'm hoping this will change whenever I get really settled into a new life sometime next fall. Plus, by then, I should have access to my car again. (It stayed in NC for this trip.)

As I close out this entry (and the year), I must say I have several things to look forward to in the coming months. We are exactly 3 months away from our due date for the "thesis babies," and I have finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The bulk of the dirty work has been done, so I can't wait to see it all start coming together very soon!! Discussions have begun with one of my travel buddies; we're hoping for a few fabulous adventures dispersed throughout the semester. I plan to be back in Louisiana in just 9 weeks, ready and fully prepared to celebrate the defense of my "feces" along with the birthdays of myself and my grandmother, and even cooler, the lovely Louisiana holiday of Mardi Gras (which also happens to be my favorite holiday, in general).

With that, I wish you all the best. Cheers to another new year...



Yippie.
-Lauren

A Little Bit of Winter Cheer

As the end of the semester draws near, it seems like a good time to give an update on all things thesis-y. Usually, my stories about graduate school involve some type of rant or negativity. However, tonight I'm here to write about some (perhaps rare) positive moments I've experienced recently.

About a week and a half ago, I may or may not have enjoyed a bottle of wine over the successful submission of Chapters 1-3 just a few days before our joyful American holiday of Thanksgiving. While it was a quiet week in the office (as most students scattered home for the holiday), I committed to working as if it were any other week. Although I did not make much progress on my actuall assistantship work, I did make good headway with organizing thesis data and putting together a major project which consisted of an educational program plan (20 pages). When that was done, I started on an essay exam. In other words, I had a productive week despite the holiday.

[It should be noted that I am grateful for a lovely friend of mine who adopted me into her family and welcomed me home for Turkey Day. In the three years I have been away for Thanksgiving, I must admit that I have been very blessed to have warm, hospitable friends who have graciously welcomed me into their family homes on this special day. Next year, however, I am committed to being at home with my own family on this holiday--no matter what.]

Back to positive moments a la graduate school...On Monday after Thanksgiving, my three chapters were returned with MINIMAL revisions! No major overhauls, reorganizations, cuts, or additions. It was a miracle! How I put together a decent lit review (despite aches and pains generally associated with such portions), I will never know. Either way, I'm not complaining. Au contraire, I am rejoicing!

On Tuesday, I sent out a third round of reminders to participants in my study. One participant returned the e-mail with an interesting request. A 4-H program leader in [unnamed] state asked permission to use my instrument (survey) as an internal self-assessment tool for their camping programs. He asked how the instrument was designed and whether it was based on "best practices." For those of you who are unfamiliar with the "research world," a request for someone else to use your instrument is kind of a big deal.

According to my professor, it's rare for doctoral students to design their own instruments, much less master's students. (Many of the Master's students in our dept. design their own instruments, so I never thought much of it.) Someone asking to use your instrument is one of the biggest honors a researcher can receive. Needless to say, I was super giddy and excited about it all. So, if any of you come across a journal article (or research presentation/printed materials) with my name as a reference for the survey instrument, be sure to let me know!

Also this week, several of us in the office reviewed posters for an upcoming professional conference. One of our profesors is in charge of the poster submissions, so she enlisted our help during the reviewal process. While I contributed to a poster proposal for last year's conference, I'd never had the experience of reviewing others' professional work in this capacity. At first, I felt unqualified to do the job, but as I worked through it, it actually turned out okay. Basically, it ended up being a review on all the research methodology and reporting techniques that I've learned over the past year and a half. In a way, it was kind of like reviewing for the final in my advanced research methods course (which is good, considering I'll probably wait 'til the last minute to actually do that, lol). In any case, reviewing posters was a fun experience. :)

As with all things studious, it can't all be roses and chocolate. To date, my response rate rests around 35%, which is not near the 70% my advisor would like, or even the 60% she insists is necessary for publication. I've made about 60 phone calls, probably speaking with a real person in about 1/3 of those calls, hoping...begging...for people to respond to the survey. We're going to reevaluate the situation on Tuesday when my advisor and I meet with our department head to give it a practice go at analayzing the data. For me, it's not a question of whether I'm going to graduate ('cuz you can bet that I will graduate, regardless), but it is a matter of putting together a quality piece that is worth all of this work. Plus, people need this research. It's important, and therefore, I need to do a good job of it. So, if you all could pray to the god of survey research, that would be great. (If you choose to stick with just one god for now, that's okay too. *wink*)

Rather than go on about other academic obligations regarding the remainder of the semester, I'm going to leave you with this:





(I am officially addicted to phdcomics, so expect more "funnies" in the near future!)

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow*!
-Lauren

*It's snowed here in Raleigh yesterday!

Haphazard Celabratory Wino

I want to write. Seriously? Yes, seriously. Despite the fact that I spend every "free" moment of my life these days writing, I still desire to put the pen to the paper--or fingers to the keys--if you will. However, I don't feel like I've got anything substantial or organized to write about, so I'm going to ramble as I happily sip on a delightful glass of wine...

Love is in the Air
It's been over a month now since Victoria and Seth's wedding, so maybe I should start there. Now we all know that weddings and general are beautiful, but this wedding was just plain exceptional. From the start, I was honored to spend the day with the lovely bride as she prepared for the big ceremony. Dawn and I were with Victoria, her mom, and sister for most of the day as we all got our hair and makeup done. As for the ceremony, it was the most holy, blessed wedding I have ever attended, and probably will ever attend. Seven, yes SEVEN, priests served as concelebrants, which just really helped to demonstrate the sanctity of this sacred sacrament. You also could have sworn that everyone in south Louisiana was in attendance; so many guests were honored to witness the unity of this most blessed couple. If there's one thing I learned about Victoria and Seth is that they are loved...loved my many, loved by all. That's pretty darn special, if you ask me.

Skip forward a bit, and I attended another wedding recently--just yesterday, in fact. Jessica (better known as J-Smith), one of my officemates, married the love of her life, Jason. It was my second-ever outdoor wedding, and first-ever Baptist wedding. Not that I didn't expect there to be cultural differences, but there were a few traditions and dances, etc. that were completely new to me. It was definitely a learning experience. As all brides are, J-Smith was beautiful indeed, and her wonderful soon-to-be-husband was in awe of her glory. It was so sweet. One thing I took away from this celebration was the beauty in making a wedding all your own. Every bit of this wedding oozed personality of the happy couple. From the silly faces and hand-picked cotton decorations, to the unity soil, to the grand exit via John Deere, Jessica and Jason's personalities shined through. If I ever get married, I want it to be that way. I want to share food and traditions that are rooted deep in my being with all of the people who mean the most to me. That, to me, is one of the purest ways to honor the couple and their God that the designed them so.

Job-ly Juggles
Another thing that seems to be in the air these days is job juggling. One of my roommates, Courtney, recently got accepted for a managerial position at the NC State Vet School. She just left her job at the NC State Employees Credit Union and will be starting at the vet school next week. Another roommate of mine, Emily, went on a job interview for an Agricultural Education teacher position way out east near the coast. (She hasn't heard back yet.) Several of my classmates are actively (and not so actively) pursuing the job front. Jess is applying for Extension Agent (4-H & Livestock) positions across the state. It seems as though Justine and Elizabeth may just get lucky and have a couple of AgEd jobs fall right into their laps at just the right moment.

As for me, I don't think I mentioned that I applied for a Program Coordinator position at Victory Junction Gang Camp way back in September. About 6 weeks later I heard they were really behind in the process, and that we should assume we did not get the job if we didn't hear from them by Nov. 17. Well, last I checked, today is Nov. 22, and I've yet to hear anything so I'm going to assume that I didn't get the job or they decided not to fill the position (I heard that too.). I'm totally cool with that because, this way, I have all the time in the world to commit to writing... In any case, I have been thinking a lot about camp lately, which means that I really hope the stars align for me to spend a fourth summer at my home away from home. Now that, is a recipe for heart happiness. <3 br="">
Excitables
-Rascal Flatts' newest cd came out last week and once again I am pleasantly pleased...or in love...however you want to look at it! Just like I did 19 months earlier, I listened to the cd four consecutive times in the first few hours after acquiring the album. Two things were different this go round: my dearest Nicholas was not present to press "repeat," yet my lovely Lendy patiently relished in my obsessive anticipation of the awesomeness that is a new RF cd! Let's just say it was a good day. (I should note that I'm currently listening to the album for oh...about the 12th time...tehe.)
-Today I turned in the first three chapters of my thesis to my committee chair. (Yes, I am celebrating by drinking a whole bottle of wine by myself.) AHH!! Wahoooooooo!! (Ontomotopias continue.) Granted, my Chair has revised Chapters 1 and 3 about three times by now, but it was my first go at Chapter 2. Hopefully, I won't have to make too many revisions this go 'round, and instead I can focus more on data collection and formatting the chapters that I do have, before I start writing again in a few weeks. The plan is to finish data collection and analysis mid-December, have Chapters 4 and 5 as well as a conference paper submitted by mid January, a presentation designed by mid February, my defense March 2nd, the manuscript submitted by April 1, and a journal article accepted for publication by the end of May. So much to do! I have to say, birthing a thesis is much like birthing a child--exciting, and scary, and proud, and overwhelming all at once. Thank goodness I've got my rocks to care for me along the way...and share in the silliness while we're at it. 8-)
--All this talk about submissions can only mean one thing...the semester is almost over!! I'll save much of those details for perhaps another day, but let's just all get excited because we're one month, and one semester closer to the enddd. While we may spend the holidays writing, it will be worth for all the days in sweatpants and nights curled up watching movies on the couch. I may not be the most jovial at this time of the year, but I will admit that there are some definite perks to the season.

I must say, although the wine is delightful, if I don't stop now, things may get interesting. Forgive me for the lack of cohesiveness in this here entry; maybe I'll find something better to write about soon. That, or I'll just open another bottle and return again shortly, jk...maybe?

Ha.

Ta-ta for now, folks!
-Lauren

Life Lesson #57826

With all this talk about anxiety that is life (or grad school), I felt like it might be a good time to talk about another type of stress relief--vacation! While music is a great coping mechanism, especially in the "immediate" and the "short-term," everyone needs a break from time to time. For most of us, we may have experienced Fall Break only a few short weeks ago, and the holiday season will soon be upon us (Thanksgiving in a little over 2 weeks, Christmas in 6?!). But what about in between the holidays...those weeks that we seem to just exist, mindlessly, turning in one paper after another, or floating from one day to the next, never really knowing what came before or what comes next?

To put it simply, we need a vacation! I know, I know, you're thinking, "Lauren, vacations cost money, and quite frankly, I cannot afford (both financially and schedule-wise) to get away for a week (or even a few days)!" Despite the fact that some of you may think I don't actually do any schoolwork, I do understand financial and scheduling constraints associated with vacationing.

In regard to financial constraints, I'm not sure if any of you have heard, but there is a new phenomenon gaining popularity--staycations. According to the ever-resourceful UrbanDictionary.com, a staycation involves, "Staying at home during your vacation instead of traveling to a pleasure destination. This can be caused by high gas prices, or just a shortage of money." The idea of a staycation sounds pretty cool; stay home and play games with the family, cook, watch movies, read books...or be a tourist in your own hometown, looking at the city with rose-colored glasses and exploring sites you've always said you're "too busy" to visit.

I hear staycations can be pretty fun. In fact, one of my good friends said her family did a staycation as a way of saving money for an upcoming wedding they were planning. They all seemed to really enjoy it, and it severed to be a great excuse for family bonding time. Who can argue with that?

And yet another alternative to the vacation is...the daycation! Again, our friend the UrbanDictionary.com defines daycation as, "A short trip out of town for only a day. Leave in the am and return in the pm." Daycations encourage the exploration of new or different locations, but typically don't break the bank or put a wrench in your schedule or standing commitments. So, for the mid-range financially burdened one, or the busy-yet-needing-a-break one, daycations may be the answer.

Daycations are probably the most challenging for me to wrap my brain around because I'm such the concrete/sequential individual who isn't entirely adept at changing plans on a whim. However, the daycation seems most properly excecuted as a last minute decision to have a daylong adventure. Thankfully, I have a bit of a diverse group of friends, many of which challenge me to step out of my comfort zone every once in a while. ;-)

That being said, I'm finally getting to the true inspiration for this entry. Yesterday, Lendy and I went on a daycation! What started out as the idea of an opportunity to visit the mountains of Virginia for photographing the beauty that is fall foliage turned into a day filled with interesting sights and sounds, as well as a lesson in spontaneity.

Recovering from an interesting night of playing "gallon" (ha!), we didn't get on the road quite as early as we might have anticipated. But hey--it was just the first of many ways I learned to accept the "plan to not plan" for a day. Leaving Wake Forest, we headed northish, making our way up to Caswell County and our first stop in Danville, VA. Lendy showed me her childhood stomping grounds, including the schools she attended and a true southern style general store before stoping to have lunch with her mom and younger brother.

From there, we headed northeast toward the mountains of southern Virginia. On the way up, we drove through Martinsville (home of Martinsville Speedway, for all of you NASCAR fans out there). Out of appreciation for my family, I asked Lendy if she minded a quick detour to take a picture of a sign at the speedway. Being the all-accommodating-and-awesome Lendy that she is, she selflessly agreed to take me to the speedway. After grabbing a quick snapshot of the sign at the main entry, she offered to drive down closer to the track in hopes of getting more pictures. As it turned out, some very nice lady was out near the entrance to the track, and when we asked her if we could walk up to take pictures, she offered us the opportunity to drive Mike's (Lendy's husband) truck out onto the track to get a better look at to take better pictures. Umm...excuse me? Yes, I did just say that. We walked out on the track, and drove a complete lap around the speedway!?!? AHHH! I literally thought I was going to hyperventillate. It was A-MAZING! My family is so jealous, lol. What a freak occurance! ...And thisss is why sometimes, I have got to learn to be more spontaneous!

After a quick pit stop (ha!) at the little Dunkin' Donuts express, where Lendy made her own iced coffee (don't tell Ravi!), we continued our journey. As we began our ascent, the trees got prettier and the roads got windier. At the top of the mountain, we came to Chateau Morsiette, a beautiful restaurant and winery. Lendy and I walked around a bit and took part in their (very busy) wine tasting experience. On the way down, we stopped at Maybry's Mill, an old grismill (whatever that is). There, we had the most awesome photo shoot, though I guess that's being a bit boastful because most of the pictures are of me acting a fool...aka having my very own ANTM photo shoot. lol. I tried to be artistic by taking some creative/artsy photos, and of course, I captured a few of the lovely lady, even though she swears she's not worthy of being featured in the shoot. (In the words of my crazy roommate, "WRONG!")

Eventually, we made our way back down to *Pelham, NC, Lendy's hometown, for dinner with her mother and brother. Our experience at Frank's Italian just might have involved way too many french fries and fried pickles, but it was well worth the experience. We ended the night with a dive through a Lendy-titled episode of "Hoarders," looking for the treasure that would become our office Christmas tree. Lendy's mother welcomed us into her lovely home, and I was able to dig through some not-so-embarassing photos and childhood memorabilia. Tehe.

Our daycation came to an end only 13 hours later, as we arrived back in Raleigh just after 11 p.m...which finally gets me to the point I have been trying to make all along. Even when we think that we're too busy, we don't have enough money, or there just isn't the time, we all need to take breaks. Whether it's a full fledged week at the ski resort over thanksgiving, or a day trip to the beach, or even an afternoon playing games and watching movies, vacations are inevitiable--and necessary. I'm not saying we should keep procrastinating or spend hours on Facebook (heck--I, and you, will do that no matter what), but I am saying that we have to treat ourselves every now and again. Thank you, Lendy love, for teaching me Life Lesson #57826. <3 br="">
Guess I really am getting an education after all..
-Lauren

~Oh and...I saw my first shooting star! :-D

Music Speaks to the Soul

Began 10/25/10:
Most of you are fully aware that life has taken me on a roller-coaster ride of emotions, a ride that has lasted much longer than I anticipated. While this ride will probably last long into the future, I do hope that I develop better coping mechanisms, preferably sooner rather than later.

A few weeks ago I realized that it had been a while since I really connected with a song on the radio. Even though I'm not very in-tuned with music and all things related, I really enjoy country music and I feel as though it has some weird way of reaching deep down into my soul and connecting with both the "really awesome" and the "really tough" parts of life. [Maybe I can blame Rascal Flatts' lack of new material for all this introspection, ha.] But really, I've been aching and searching for a song with which I could really connect.

Flashing forward a bit, it looks like this week is shaping up to be a tough one emotionally...less for me and more for my friends, but still. Two of my really good friends here in Raleigh are going through a very tough time right now. It's strange how much I, too, am hurt by their pain. I'm not really sure why this is, but something about their situations is really weighing on my heart right now.

As usual, there are the ups and downs that come along with "birthing" a thesis, too. I am so thankful for the support we all have for each other in our little office/class cohort. The "rock collector" parable (have I talked about that here yet?) really has stuck with us, just as we stick with each other through all of the challenges that we seem to face on a daily basis. (At this point, I'm beginning to think that in order to get a Master's degree, your computer has to die at least once, you have to lose at least one data set or document/file, and you've got to think your capstone project is absolutely worthless at some point...just to earn that darn piece of paper.)

Continued 10/31/10:
I say all of this because in my search for "the" song of the moment, I realized it would be difficult to find something that really applied to me, and even more specificially, to the things going on in mine and my friends' lives. It's not every day you find songs about grad school, losing a child, making a tough decision, shattering your dreams, etc. I mean, sure, talk to T-Swift about heartbreak, and Good Ole Kenny can help ya with daydreaming about life on the beach, but those other things...they just don't sound so eloquent in a country song.

Last week, one of my co-workers/classmates (rock ladies, if you will) came into the office bursting at the seams wanting to play a song for us. As it turned out, the song was Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer," and she was so right when she said it fit our group quite well. Really the parts that apply to us are...
//We gotta hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not
We got each other and that's a lot...
//...Oh, we're half way there
Oh oh, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Oh oh, Livin' on a prayer!
In our case, we DO have each other, and that IS a lot. We ARE (more than) half way there. Together, we WILL make it. And really, we are lucky, blessed even, to have what we do. I truly believe that I would never make it through this challenge that is grad school without the support, encouragement, and understanding from those around me. And I know I can speak for all of us when saying, we really are "livin' on a prayer."

Only one day earlier than our little "Livin' on a Prayer" moment, the lovely Mrs. Pandora presented with me with my own version of "the song," yes, the exact song I had been waiting for all along. While I really hate to make this blog even longer than it is, most of you are well aware that I tend to post lengthy entries, and I don't think it would do the song justice to not include the lyrics, so please bear with me. Here it is:

One Day You Will - Lady Antebellum
(Click the link to watch a lyric video on YouTube.)
You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

[Chorus]
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

[Repeat Chorus]

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

[Repeat Chorus]

One day you will
Oh one day you will

Honestly, I don't really even know where to begin discussing this song. The Lovely Lady A somehow put out a song that reaches down into the depths of my heart and puts into words every bit of what I have felt, feel, and (probably) will feel. It's no secret that graduate school has been a struggle for me, and while I don't mean to sound depressed here, they really just say it quite perfectly. The beauty about this song, though, is not even about how I relate to it in my own life, but rather its universality.

For the friend who knows what she wants, but is scared she won't get it, or for the friend who has no idea what's next. For the friend who hurt someone or the one who was hurt. For the friend who lost everything, and the friend who lost just one thing. ...One day you (we) will.

One day we will have insight and understanding. One day all of the pain will be gone. One day we will be blessed with exactly what it is that we need.

We will find love. We will find peace. We will find the us we're meant to be. Right now, that's not the way it feels, but one day we will.

Wow. All I can say is wow. No amount of words or reflection here can really do this song justice in my heart. I guess, I really just wanted to include it here because I feel like it's a really profound set of insight for those of us who have daily struggles (hey--doesn't everyone?). We have to remember that "down the road the sun is shining, and in every cloud there's a silver lining."

On a lighter note, I think we should compile a GSG (Grad School Girls) soundtrack. It should be complete with a collection of empowering, reflective, motivating tunes. And just like us, this "Tune Rock" will pull us through, because...

One day we will.

-Lauren


PS: I haven't forgotten about the promise I made in my tweet-blog, nor that I need to write about the LeBlanc-Richard wedding, among other more-thought provoking topics.